Saturday, May 11, 2013

Mama, are you listening now?

I lost my Mom when I was about 15 years old to suicide.  She was tortured for a very long time by depressive mental illness and it finally took her.  I understood, but it was plenty hard, especially since it left me for all intent and purpose, an orphan. My father was alive, but we weren't close. I had foster family who were very-very good to me, but it was never quite the same as having my own family.

I promised myself that one day I would publish -- somewhere -- this little bit of prose I wrote for her when I was 16.  I would send it as a letter to an editor or something.  I never did publish it, I guess due to fear of rejection.

Well I have a blog now, so I can publish anything I want!  That fact, along with having lost another dear person to suicide recently, led me to publish now. It helps that nobody except for the spambots reads my blog anyway, so I have privacy here ;-).

Happy Mother's Day, Mom, wherever you are in the great beyond.  This is for you.

Note that I never called her "Mama" in real life, only in this writing.  Chalk it up to teenage drama, I guess, LOL.

Mama, Are You Listening now?

(written December 15, 1979)

Me and my mom in 1965

Mama, are you listening now?
Thank you for creating me
I am not perfect
But you gave me a chance, Mama,
Are you listening now?
You put me together okay, Mama
You fed me and clothed me
And when I was hurt
You rocked me in your arms
And soothed my pain
And said "God bless your heart"
When you said that, Mama, I felt that God was really there.
Are you listening now?
The times I was happy
You were there, happy with me Mama
<snipped out a part that was just a little too teenage dramatic, LOL>
Are you listening now?
Mama, it took me awhile
But I've finally got it straight.
I know why you had to go.
But Remember, wherever I go, Mama
You'll always be with me
In a great big place in my heart.
And if you're listening now, Mama
I just want you to know
That I love you now, and I always will.
--teenage Teresa, 1979

Sending love your way.



  1. fragile love.
    thank you for sharing your inner voice with us.
    thank you for touching my heart.
    thank you for beeing alive and not give up.

    god bless you,

    1. Thank you too. You brought a tear to my eye.

  2. Thank you for the lovely poem, Teresa. Serenity and comfort to you.

    1. Ahhhh, you called it a poem! ;-) Thank you for that. And thank you for your kind words.